What amazed me the most in Europe…

This thought has been in my head for past two months but last night, watching my family’s child screaming in a restaurant (a dhaba in Karachi), I wished I had the power to correct the mindset of Pakistani people.

So I was just thinking…I am sure when you go to Europe as a Pakistani, you are amazed by their historical landmarks, architecture, museums, fashion, food etc etc….Well, of course I fell in love with the architecture in Germany and Switzerland too but the thing that TRULY amazed me was the behavior of young children. Yup, the kids.

They acted like humans. First time in my life I felt like being in a world of humans and not in a populous jungle.

I observed them walking on roads in groups with their teachers, I saw them in a bus taking a field trip, I saw them in restaurants, trains and parks…literally humans! No one was screaming like a maniac for no reason (or a reason), no one was pushing or pulling others, no one was running around in the streets and no one was speaking loud or talking like adults. Everyone was polite, soft and well mannered, and parents and teachers were all very vigilant of their presence and behavior. I saw them disciplining children whenever they needed it in order to evolve as an educated, trained participant of the society. I spoke to some children and they spoke to me with the innocence of the angels (If angels exist. And yes, I spent time with some kids in a park.)

This is exactly how I trained my daughter since the beginning of her life. Even as a toddler 19 years ago (with no internet based knowledge ), I was always saying NO to her behavior, which was unacceptable but my ‘no’ was always followed by an explanation in order to have her learn why certain actions can be harmful to her or others. There was always an implementation of strict discipline and discouragement of nonsense actions and behavior. (Pretty much a common sense based centuries old technique ). No reward was given to her in form of smile, laughter or a hug if the behavior was nuisance to others or was repeated.

Everyone opposed my parenting and mostly when I started homeschooling her for her preschool and primary level in an attempt to provide her speedy learning, creative environment where art, music and reading were mainly emphasized elements, and a chance for lateral thinking for personal evolution. (and of course to spend quality time having productive conversations.)

There was criticism on my motherhood when I encouraged her to fix herself a sandwich at an early age (6 years ).

I was told by those who came from USA or UK that new studies in psychology had proved abroad that saying NO to children suppresses their personal growth (and apparently no one abroad stopped children from anything). I was told that she should be allowed to explore without restrictions, write on walls if she wished to be creative and be bold and loud in a playground to develop her leadership skills. (What?)

I paid shit to all this and followed common sense.

My child. My rules.

If all this nonsense was correct then how come the young generation in these countries is so violent and aggressive or suicidal? (Well, thanks to these ‘theories’, we have a nation of savages.)

Why no one in Pakistan bothers to follow what German or Swiss parents or system is doing to the children? (Question based on what I observed in 8 days). Why their discipline and rules, that have led to the success of these countries, are completely ignored in this part of the world? Why do they always have to follow what Americans are doing?

I think I did the right thing raising my child to be a human, have empathy and the sense of responsibility to follow rules, and be a good citizen.

No remorse.

#tattoos #berlin #germany #switzerland #artbasel #art #USA

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