by xandria noir
Do you think there is future tomorrow?
You fret about it every minute dissolving the joy of present into stress and discontentment. You are running after it trying to catch as if it is a butterfly with mesmerizing colours and patterns of enchanting installations. And when in the end of the day, this furtively mystifying little fantasy doesn’t become captive of your net of pursuit; you fall under burden of crippling pain.
I did the same few years ago. I divested the present from my mental existence. But now I have many new beliefs, and one of them is the surety of absence of future and past.
Life is just now; right in this moment. While typing this word, I see life but nothing beyond it, nothing to next. Life is the current sounds I hear, persistent visuals in sight at the moment, present smell of this moment, laptop screen gleaming brightness in front of me, sound of tread on the keyboard, brightly coloured post-its next to my pen holder, sheer white curtain waving at me in the morning fragrant breeze entering my space from the balcony door. Just this. Nothing more.
I don’t think about the next day or even next moment or hour. I don’t dwell in the past. They just don’t exist. Past is gone. Future is beyond existence. I don’t expect. I live now and I make sure I drink this enjoyment to full. This moment is the guarantee of my living, of my existence. I see no point of planning future by running on the steps of endless staircase. Running like a mouse on the wheel. No matter how far you run now, you will still be in this moment. SO why depriving yourself from the joy that is right around you.
I don’t have any goals anymore. Goals of making more money and becoming richer, expanding business further, thinking about when to cook, clean, write, work, run, exercise or whatever. I do things just now. Things that make sense now. I do things which I think should be done right in this moment before the sinkhole opens under me and this moment of present is sucked to its death.
When I am with Wiqi and EmQue, I am just with them fully enjoying them with all my senses available to absorb them filling my mind with their musical voices, swaying in the air moved by their cackling laughter, comforting my eyes with gleaming life on their faces, smelling their natural scent from their skin, feeling their firm bodily existence on my lips.
When I am in this moment, I don’t taint it by working my unconsciousness thinking about the upcoming meeting and its preparation, a business deal next morning, restricting myself to fixed time of departure, waiting for a phone call. I only bow to the moment with my complete bodily and mental presence. My subconscious, unconsciousness and consciousness are synergized to make a complete me.
I am the most pacific now in the abyss of immortal peace with no stress, tension, sorrow or resentment. I am ecstatic, exultant, blissful.
Life is only in the present moment. Past is hypothetical and future is imagination.
The only future I believe is the next moment presenting DEATH!
Matt, thank you for your comment. I wrote this post to encourage people enjoy the moment they are in as most of the people have forgotten how amazing life is if you stop dwelling in past and yearning for future.
You can't honestly think the past is meaningless. That is both shortsighted and selfish. If a moment is only worthwhile because you see it, then all moments are worthless, for you can only see them for the shortest fraction of a second when you exist within it.
Not to mention, this philosophy excludes other people. For instance, I am living now in this moment, in a future to when this post was written. I am responding this moment to you, as you were in the past. We are living in different times, Xandria. Are you saying that MY time is irrelevant, and dead, just because you cannot percieve it?
Very interesting perceptive. I'm not ready to let go of goals, but I do like to appreciate the now.
Is it by sheer coincidence that I am watching the animation movie Up! on television. Should we wait till late to get the house on the Paradise Falls for Ellie..time is the rarest commodity that we have and it really slips through our fingers like water. Good post.