Theories are made in all eras of history for the betterment of humankind and world. Theories bring us forward. A simple theory of intellectual and intelligent man can teaches us a whole level of diploma education. They have power. They dominate.
But are all theories worth? Should we step forward holding them?
I admire Socrates, Plato and Aristotle for what they gave us. They gave us the foundation of today’s modern world. They gave us science, psychology, philosophy, medicine. They endowed us intelligence which led to creativity. I admire Newton and Einstein. I even admire theories of common unknown people from day to day life of today because they make sense.
Unfortunately, it seems like that humankind has come to a point of blankness now. We have come to ‘What To Do Now?’ phase. What should be new? Reactive engine has been developed to replace jet engine; internet has been unleashed to make world available on the tip of finger; holographic computers have been experimented; even mobile phones are now being transferred to transparency (although I don’t understand why…)
All remarkable advancements, and they DO give us something better.
Then we turn to psychologists and ask ‘So what are YOU doing?’
Well, in last five decades, they have put forward the discoveries of several psychological disorders, psychiatric illnesses, successfully made up many ‘non-existing’ pseudo-disorders, and remarkably labelled uncountable normal people abnormal. Since all is done so now their play ground is the experiments on what exists.
More than a decade ago, theories poured in the West banning the word NO to be addressed to children. Pakistan, which is normally behind everything that happens in the world around its borders, started following these theories of NO almost a decade ago too.
Banning NO just doesn’t make any sense to me. I was brought up by parents who yelled NO every time I opted for something wrong. Well, I turned out fine, same with all the people who were born before 1990’s. This was the method of raising children with discipline. The word NO told us to be aware of harmful things in life. It stopped us getting hurt yet still kept us close to our parents. It didn’t restrict our horizon of experiments into new things but surely made us realize the things that brought severe consequences.
Unfortunately, some of us rebelled to NO and deemed it unnecessary ultimately bowing to the theory of abandoning this tool in favour of their children. They are the parents who offspring-ed the generation raised in 1990s. And the result of their adopted theory is the tsunami of young aged criminals, pregnant teenagers, underage smokers and drug addicts. These young and adult children have disregarded the sanctity of family values, reverence for elders, loyalty to decency, and social manners.
I was sitting at Dunkin Donut a few days ago as this is the only place in the city where smoking is not allowed, thinking I will have some peace but was unaware that there exists something that is more annoying than inhaling miasma of toxic gases from others. Two young mothers of two little girls were having coffee next to my table. They were all manicured stylishly into trendy clothes and expensive jewelry. While they chatted, their little four year old girls darted around like hovering atom bombs. Their screams echoed even from the vacuum of atmosphere malfunctioning all my five senses handicapping me from taking any pleasure of smoke free environment. I saw the cleaner picking up chairs and tissue papers from the floor every second.
I waited for the mothers to take measures in leashing their pups but my wish got slain when a mother didn’t even bother her monster running away with her smart phone. She said smiling, “they are kids; they should have fun.” When the mobile phone was eventually kept on a distant table and was not found. Their reaction was, “it’s OK. They are kids.” Although they started screaming at the workers demanding their phone.
Many times I have seen children rattling table with cutlery in a restaurant or yelling during dinner, havocking in shopping malls, damaging articles at people’s houses or dangling out from car window but parents do not even tell them to stop let alone saying NO. To them, they are just KIDS!
I remember my daughter, born in 1998, sitting silently at the table colouring in her book. She never ran around or caused nuisance in public places or at people’s homes. My principal was to use NO or give the LOOK without surrendering to ‘WHY NOT’. My tone was strong enough to tell her that this is it. I disciplined her during play, meal time, bed time, bathroom and everywhere. To satiate her juvenile curiosity, I took her to objects describing their functions in order to avoid her unsupervised touching. I did tell her how her corrupted actions could cause social pollution. She turned out perfectly normal, and I don’t remember any day when she fell in trouble anywhere. She is ahead of her peers, she is bold and courageous and an excellent achiever.
One recent development has given me some hope. The Dee Why Grand Shopping Mall in Sydney has finally taken action against bad parenting. On a customer’s complaint, they have placed notice in their food court stating ‘Stop. Parents please be considerate of other customers using the food court. Screaming children will not be tolerated in the center.’ Well, that’s a start.
Not surprising, this ban has sparked a debate with one group suggesting that people should be more sympathetic with parents. This leaves me thinking if parents with bad parenting skills should be supported or trained by their sensible grandparents rather than by psychologists…
I pray that world becomes a better place, and people adopt common sense instead of inflated theories of therapists to escape from weaknesses and bad skills.
You have discussed a very good issue on parenting and children. You made good points on discipline and why parents should be strict enough with their children from the very beginning. I was born in the late 80's and I used to be angry with my parents when they said NO too. But now, I really do understand what drives them to act in such manner.