I have been thinking of defining myself to a number of people who think I am an introvert. Luckily, just now I got it. I am an ‘anti-social extrovert’ .
This is because I am neither a kind of person who enjoys meeting people regularly (but I don’t mind once a month perhaps) nor I like staying at home everyday. Strangely, I love to be around strangers and hate the deserted lonely places. Then what do you call this condition?
When people called me anti-social and thought I didn’t like going out, I was very upset because it does not justify my status que. Oh boy I cant stay indoors for more than two days max. But that doesn’t mean that I crave human company. I seriously don’t. I just love going out on a drive or at random places paying unplanned visits and look around and think about those people there and their untold lives. I JUST LIVE OBSERVING every god damn atom of this universe. AND I DON’T GET BORED A BIT. Then why should I take the stamp of introvert on me.
Over the years I became like this. I took a lot of crap from people; they didn’t like me mostly (I could tell) and I wasn’t happy either. Thus I started occupying silence. Later I noticed I changed. I
and then I came to conclusion that every time I meet people, I feel obligated to entertain. Every time I spend time with a bunch, I came home distressed because nobody wants to hear what I want to say. I find people very uptight. The whole time I am with someone, all I am cautious of are my words that I minutely calculate, pin pointedly polish, dust in sugar, apply accurate modifiers and then let them have a voice. All this I do non stop when I am talking to people. It’s a pain for me because the sole purpose of hanging out with people or friends is refreshment of mind and entertainment. When does MY mind refresh? It works non stop to keep the company happy. And why I do that? That’s because when I used to meet people for ENTERTAINMENT, they always got offended by my opinions, open mindedness, bluntness, honesty and diversity.
Well, why whining? I am good to be an anti social extrovert.
I'm very much like you and for many of the same reasons. I use my writing as my outlet, but I have discovered that in order to market what I write, I'm expected to be social. If you want to talk to me, then read my books.
I am much like you…I tend to be a loner by nature, because I do rather prefer my own company. Yet at the same time, we do need engagement. We must pick our spots and do how we feel is right for us…be Xandria…the world is better for it!
Thanks Ivan for a wonderful comment.
An interesting perspective for one so socially aware and un-phased enough to term herself an anti-social extrovert; in effect you've created the place where you feel most comfortable. It will be interesting if you manage to meet and form stable and lasting 'friendships' with others of a similar view. And it will be interesting to follow that journey in your written words. Looking forward to it!